Illusions!
If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, you will only see one color, pink. If you stare at the black + in the center, the moving dot turns to green. Now, concentrate on the black + in the center of the picture. After a short period of time, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see a green dot rotating if you're lucky! It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear. This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see. WoWZeRz!
Click here for the ILLUSION!
Reincarnate!
Sorry for non active and delays and so. I've just started my blogggg... uh i mean job! Working at a bank as a C/T/C (Cashier/Typist/Clerical) So i've been kinda bz from now on plus cuz i'm still in probation so have to be a lil adaptive and also have to stay back late to learn new things and bla blas.Why do I say Reincarnate? Cuz i probably wont have much time to read jokes and also do postings everyday. So i'll kinda change this blog into a Everything in 1 roof blog. Might be updated everyday or also might be updating when i'm free.I'll post whatever fancies me or jokes, nonsense, diary, pics, clips, etcs, blablas and whatsoever. Thanks for visiting and really sorry for being "late" to inform ya'll bout this! Don't worry! you'll still see stupid or crazy stuffs here somehow! So Don't Worry!
Try this in Heaven
After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same question, "When you are lying in your casket, your friends and family are mouring over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the great doctors of my time, and a caring family man."The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow."The last guy thinks for a moment, and then replies, "I guess I'd like to hear them say 'LOOK! He's moving!'"
Watch out your "Best" friends.
Ken was at work when his best friend Richard called round at his house. Ken's wife Barbara answered the door and invited Richard in. Barbara was quite taken aback when Richard blurted out, "I have always fancied you, there is nothing I would like more than to carry you to the bedroom and make love to you right now!"
"I can't do that, you're Ken's best friend!" said Barbara.
"What if I gave you $2000? Would that persuade you?" asked Richard.
"It would," said Barbara unashamedly, and she took the money before they both disappeared to the bedroom.
Four hours later Ken arrived home from work. "Barbara darling, has Richard called round?" he asked.
"Yes," said Barbara sheepishly fearing the worst.
"Good man," said Ken, "and did he give you the $2000 that he owes me?"
The Wise Blind Man
A blind man was travelling in his private jet when he detected something was wrong. He made his way to the cockpit and got no response from his pilot.The blind guy then found the radio and started calling the tower for help. The tower came back and asked, "What's the problem?"The blind guy yelled, "Help me! I'm blind, the pilot is dead, and we're flying upside down!"The tower came back and asked, "How do you know you're upside down?"The man then replied, "Because the shit is running down my back!"
The Su"PET"star
A cool well trained parrot. Never see anything like this before! I wish my dog could talk like that! =P haha A really nice movie. Not really funny but it's something intresting.
CLICK TO DOWNLOADfile size : 5.15MB
The use of oven
Those who watch this, you've learned something new today! Never try this again! Haha, next time I guess they better do that in their room! Poor wife of the man... Anyone know how does it feel?
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOADfile size : 584KB
The Perfect Blow
Guess what is he gonna blow? Never seen anything like this! Good thing to know this particlar thing could be so "expandable". Funny people do funny stuffs!
CLICK TO DOWNLOADfile size : 1.55MB
Choose Your Room
A man arrived in hell to be greeted by Satan who led the man down a corridor. There were three doors and the devil said. "You may choose one of these rooms to reside in."The devil opened the first, to reveal a man hanging by his thumbs whilst a goblin stabbed him with a poker. The man shook his head and the devil lead him to the second door.The second door opened to reveal a man tied to a rock with rats chewing at his feet. The man shook his head again and the devil motioned him towards the final door.The door opened to reveal an old man chained to the wall. A beautiful blonde was knelt down giving the man a blow job. The new arrival smiled nodded eagerly.Satan turned and said, "Debbie, your replacement's arrived."
A Clever Boy
A lady lost her handbag during a day of shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a £20 note in it. Now there are 20 pound coins."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have change for a reward."
Questions & Answers
What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?
An egg.
Why did the raspberry cry?
Because his parents were in a jam.
What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?
Wipe him clean, apologise and RUN!
First cow: What do you think of this mad cow's disease?
Second cow: Dont ask me, I'm a duck!
What did zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What would you do with 365 used condoms?
Melt them down, make a tyre and call it a good year.
How do you find a blind man on a nudist beach?
It's not very hard!
Grew Up Tommy.
It was the first day back at school after Christmas and Miss Jones, the class teacher, asked little Tommy what Santa Claus broght him.
"I got a bow wow," said Tommy.
"No Tommy, you got a dog," scolded the teacher. "You are old enough now to start using grown-up language. What else did you get?"
"I got a choo choo," replied Tommy.
"No, you did not," said Miss Jones becoming increasingly irritated, "you got a train. What else did you get?"
"I got a book," said Tommy.
"What was the title of the book?" asked the teacher.
After much deliberation Tommy replied, "Winnie the Shit."
Mime Song
A repost of a popular clips! Listen to the song and watch his action. I'm sure he will makes you laugh! Nice song by the way, anyone know what's the title of that song?CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOADfile size : 2.95MB
Holla Back Girl V2
My favourite clips! They fake Gwen Steffani's Hollaback Girl! A must download clip! Forget about this if you haven't listen to the original Hollaback Girl by Gwen Steffani.
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOADfile size : 8.9MB
Short Jokes 2
Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terribl thing?" "Becayse my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I dont want anything to make her think she's welcome."A youngster was enjoying himself at the swimming baths when the lifeguard grabbed him by arm and roared, "Out you go young man, I am reporting you for peeing in the pool.""But everybody pees in the pool," protested the youngster."Not from the diving board!" replied the lifeguard.A man walks into a pub and begins scruitinising with intrest a sign above the bar that reads, Ham Sandwich £1.50Hand Job £5He calls the barmaid over and says to her, "Are you the one giving hand jobs?""Yes," she said seductively.To which the man replied, "Well go and wash your hands and make me a sandwich!"Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said "Damn, it's hot in here!" The other muffin said, "Holy Shit... a talking muffin!"
The Golden Toilet
A drunk walked into a pub and said to the landlord, "Excuse me do you mind if I use your toilet?"
"Not at all," said the landlord, "it's the second door on the right."
The drunk staggered away and in his drunken state, walked throught the second door on the left where he was greeted with a magnificent-looking golden toilet. He sat on the toilet and let nature take its course. The following day, the drunk staggered back into the pub and asked the landlord, "Excuse me, do you mind if I use your golden toilet again?" The landlord smiled before shouting, "Hey Bob, I think we've found the idiot who crapped in your tuba."
The Irishmen, Paddy and Seamus.
Two Irishmen, Paddy and Seamus, are walking home from a night on the town when Paddy turns to Seamus and says, "Seamus, look! It's a long walk home, why dont we steal a bus?""Feck, that's a grand idea, Paddy. Tell you what, I'll nip ito the bus depot and grab us a bus," replies Seamus."Sure Seamus," counters Paddy. So off trots Seamus to steal a bus. Paddy stands at the gates of the depot, watching. After 15 minutes he wonders where the feck Seamus has got to. He turns round to see Seamus running to one bus, looking in the window and then running on to the next."What the feck are you doing Seamus?" yells Paddy."Paddy, I cant find a route 109," shouts Seamus."You feckin' eejit," bellows Paddy, "just steal that 108 and we'll get off at the roundabout!"
Clips - Lip Syncing 2
Another funny lip sync by those young asians. Anyone have any idea what does the chinese word wrote about at the back of the scenes? Where they took their NGs "Not Good" screens?
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOADfile size : 5.14MB
Clips - Lip Syncing
Funny clips, young asians lip syncing Back Street Boy's - As Long As You Love Me. Pretty funny, especially the one on the right. Thier sync talent are pretty good!
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOADfile size : 6.14MB
Terry the salesman
Terry goes for his first day working at a big "everything under one roof" store. After the store was locked up at night, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?" Terry says, "One." The boss was furious, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sales for?" Terry replied "£101,237.64" The boss says, "£101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?"
Terry told him, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then, I sold him a medium fish hook. Then, I sold him a large fish hook. Then, I sold him a new fishing rod. Then, I asked him where he was going to fishing an dhe said down to the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine. Then he said he didn't think his car would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and I sold him that 4X4."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a truck?" Terry says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, "Well, your weekend's buggered, you might as well go fishing."
The Pet Talk!
A lady was walking to work when she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady was furious! She stormed past the store to her work.On the way home, she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."She was incredibly angry now. The next day, the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."The lady was so annoyed that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager apologised profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didnt say it agian.When the lady walked past the store that day after work, the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
The Missionaries...
Two missionaries were captured by a tribe of cannibals, in deepest Africa. The leader of the tribe approached them licking his lips and said, "It is our custom to spare our captives if they're able to perform two tasks. Your fist task is to go into the jungle and return with ten items of the same fruit."
The missionaries sped off into the jungle and ten minutes later one of them reuturned holding ten grapes in his hand. The cannibal leader said to him, "Your second task is to insert each of the grapes up your backside without making a single noise. But should you fail then we will eat you."
The missionary began to inserting the grapes up his backside and was just about to insert the tenth when he burst out laughing. The cannibal smiled and said, "Sorry but you have failed the test and now we are going to eat you. But before we eat you, could you tell me why you started laughing on the tenth grape?"
The missionary replied, "I've just seen my friend coming, and he's carrying melons!"
Little girl wonder...
A little girl walked into her mother's bedroom and said, "Mummy, where do babies come from?"
"Well darling, daddy puts his penis into my vagina and nine months later a baby appears," replied the mother.
Her daughter look puzzled before saying, "Last night I saw daddy put his penis in your mouth. Do babies come from there as well?"
"No darling," replied the mother, "That's where jewellery comes from."
Short Jokes
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-Eye Deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still No-Eye-Deer.Wife: Why don't you shout my name when we make love?
Husband: I dont want to wake you up!
What's six inches long, three inches wide and drives women crazy?
A £50 note.What do you call a beautiful woman on a builder's arm?
A tattoo.
Frog in a pub: A pint of beer please.
Barman : That will be £100 and I must say we don't get many frogs in here.
Frog: At those prices I'm not surprised!Our local footbal team has announced that their new sponsors are to be Tampax tampons. The
chairman believes this is a sensible move as the club are going through a very bad period.
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were sitting under the family Christmas tree on Christmas Eve when Darth turned to Luke abd said, "I know what you're getting for Christmas tomorrow".
"How do you know that?" asked Luke.
Vader replied, "Bacause I felt your presents."
Newly Borned! B.I.O.D.A.T.A
Name : Daily Joke Spot
D.O.B : 26th November 2005
Language : English
Guardian : Philantrothy
Intrest : Entertain ppl!
Affliate : Online Benefits For You (OB4U)
